Swedish indie: Laakso (ft. Peter Joback)

I've been on a Scandinavian kick with my music lately, and I must say there is quite a lot to like. First of all, a lot of it is in English- particularly from Sweden, where 89%(!) of the population can speak it. From what I can tell, there's a very vibrant music scene in the Nordic countries; for example, just look at the line-up of bands from Gothenburg, including Ace of Base, The Knife, Jose Gonzales, and Little Dragon. This is all coming from a city about the size of Albuquerque!

The band Laakso and singer Peter Joback (who are not from Gothenburg) team up for a great single, titled Italy vs. Helsinki. The soaring piano backing is perfect for the dueling vocalists, who are trying to persuade us to come with them to Italy and Helsinki (Finland's capital). The song's bombastic sound and inventive use of lyrics give the entire song a "tounge-in-cheek" feel, and its just a lot of fun. And no offense to Helsinki, but I'm choosing Italy.

Laakso (ft Peter Joback) - "Italy vs. Helsinki"

Anthem Rankings #1: And the winner is...

In what amounts to a landslide victory (a full one-point win!), the only country from Oceania to make the list also tops it. French Polynesia, an overseas "country," or collectivity of France, adopted Ia Ora 'O Tahiti Nui (Long Live Tahiti Nui) in 1993. Surprisingly, this anthem was a collaborative effort of seven musicians, who composed and wrote the song for a contest in 1993, where it beat out 16 other competitors. Tahiti is the largest and most populated island in this collection of archipelagos, and the country also competes under that name for both international soccer and basketball events.

There are so many descriptive adjectives that could be used to describe this song, but this time, I'll let you decide which ones they should be. Maybe that is what sets this anthem apart; as far as national anthem's go, it doesn't really slot itself into one niche, it just does everything well. FP's anthem was one which was just fun to listen to again and again, and the Slovak orchestra really outdid themselves with this rousing rendition.



At first, I was a little worried when FP won my anthem rankings, thinking it was entirely possible that the Slovak arrangement was as good as it gets, which was the case for many small countries. Luckily, I was wrong, as I found out after a quick Youtube search. The a capella version below is one of my favorite renditions of any national anthem. The Polynesian choir's simple, upbeat harmonies really are a joy to listen to.



Overall score : 29/30

Anthem Rankings #2: Russia

The Russians are nothing if not a proud people, and this is strikingly evident when you listen to their national anthem. For grandeur and patriotic "feel," the National Anthem of the Russian Federation is unmatched. The original song was written during WWII as the Soviet Union's new anthem to replace the socialist anthem The Internationale, which Stalin though was too...well, "International" for his warring country. Because of the anthem's link to communism and the United States' cold-war nemesis, the song seems to have gotten a bad rap among Westerners. Lately, the trendy thing to do in Western media is to back any segment on a policy with socialist or authoritarian tendencies with the Soviet anthem- and if visuals are involved, you'll no doubt see some grainy footage of Soviets marching with their tanks as Stalin looks on. It's a bit that's been played out, but I usually don't mind, because I get to hear the anthem. However, some nutty talk-show hosts take it too far.

While the music is exceptional, a good vocalization of the lyrics make this song special. The climax of the song really lends itself to belting out the lyrics full-force- and when done right, it is very moving (click on Putin's eye below for an example). Interestingly enough, a children's author named Sergey Mikhalkov, who wrote the original lyrics for the USSR in 1943, rewrote them in 1977 and then again in 2000, when Russia (or maybe just Putin) decided to adopt the Soviet anthem's music.

Check out a rock version here.

Overall score: 28/30

Anthem Rankings #3: Sealand

This is Sealand.

This is their national anthem.

No, I'm not making this up. Sealand is actually a micronation whose territory includes that monstrosity you see in the picture above; a now-anchored military platform used by the British in WWII. Because they sunk the fort in international waters (at the time, outside of 3 miles from the English coast), the fort was technically an unoccupied territory. In the sixties, a pirate radio broadcaster, Roy Bates, landed on the platform and declared it an independent principality, and he and his family subsequently become royalty. Sure, they are not recognized by any other country, but they seem to fit firmly in the gray area of international law, so who's to say that they are not an independent entity?

Now, you may think that this uninspiring, rusty platform doesn't deserve such a grand anthem, and as I've mentioned previously, I am a strong proponent of anthems which just "seem appropriate" for their country. However, once you learn some of the surprisingly epic history of the principality, complete with foreign invasions, hostage-taking, helicopter attacks, and treason, you may change your mind. The name of the anthem is the same as Sealand's motto, E Mare Libertas (From the Sea, Freedom) and is currently an instrumental piece only. The music whirls around dramatically for about a minute and a half, and the end result is a satisfying, patriotic piece - simple, yet everything an anthem should be. I just wish someone lyrically-inclined could write up a few stanzas for this piece. Who knows, maybe they would give you free lordship if you do.

Overall score: 28/30